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If you’re anything like most of the people I know, you may have an issue with receiving. Do you feel like hiding in a cave when others acknowledge you? Do you always end up paying for your friends because you find it difficult to accept their money? Do you have a hard time accepting compliments or gifts, opening up to love? Or do you give and give in an attempt to have others give back to you for once but are disappointed time and time again? You are not the only one.

Most of us are used to making receiving wrong, as if it equalled taking. After all, what are people who receive a lot? We’ve been taught by society that they are greedy and selfish, or maybe dependent and needy; we don’t want to be any of those things. Or we feel that we first need to be worthy in order to receive and find that we do not or not yet fall into that category.

Check for yourself: what is the underlying belief your resistance to receiving is based on? Are you being right about being unworthy and undeserving, or about others being selfish narcissists? Are you making sure you’ll never be like your dad, aunt, childhood friend, … who was so utterly …. selfish, manipulative, weak, …? Or are you afraid to once again receive something that you do not want to receive if in the past you were abused and taken advantage of in the name of ‘love’?

The universe is giving but if we refuse to receive we’re giving it mixed messages. Who do we need to be in order to say yes to all the love and happiness and abundance that comes our way? Everything we desire is already out there. We just have to give up resistance to it and let it come into our lives.

So next time you are paid a compliment, are given love or attention, consider just saying ‘thank you’ and zipping it. Whenever you are offered a drink by a friend fully receive it and grant the other the joy of giving. Next time you notice you’re keeping the score about who owes who, consider letting go of that idea. Open up to the powers of the universe and trust that they bring perfect balance to your giving and receiving if only you are not in the way.

If you ask for what you want or need and open up to receiving it, you just may get it. For some of us this is a scary thought. Our identities may feel safer not getting what we want if that’s what we’re used to. So we’re left with a question here: Who do you need to create yourself as to be able to drop all resistance to receiving? And additionally: what would become possible for you if you were equally free to give and receive in life?

Written by Mieke Beurskens



Mariëlle Ruiters CCNL